Zombie

Growing up,

Waking up,

Standing up,

Just living, not alive.

Day by day, I don't feel good. Wait. I always feel not good. I made mistakes. A lot. Being a slow learner is not something that I'm proud of. Felt smaller day by day. I had too many expectations and high hopes for the future for myself. Yet, here I am feeling dumb, dumber, and dumbest.

I'm scared.

With people

Future

Times

Expectations

Thoughts

I guess I'm not that important to anyone. Everyone.

I guess being alone is just my fate. 

Internship

At first, it was nice. I've learned a lot. People were being nice to me. Even though I was being a little awkward and I was being so shy and quiet. But I have to go through this. It is only three and a half months. So, I have to be strong and slowly adapt to the new environment, surroundings, routine, and people around me.

I went through a lot of hardships. I'm struggling with myself. Struggling with my anxieties and emotions. I feel really bad for being myself. I hurt people. I annoyed people. I'm not a good person. I was not being good enough. I'm too dumb to handle. I'm a slow learner. I can't communicate with people. I made a lot of mistakes. People hate me. Little did I know.

I don't deserve to be treated like this. Can y'all just treat me as a human being? I have feelings. I have emotions. I have thoughts. I have everything like normal people have. Why is it so hard for you guys to treat me nicely?