Confuse

I’m in confusion. I’m confused with myself. But, I don’t even know what I’m confused about.

I’m questioning with myself.

What do I want in my life?
What I want to be?
What have I done with my life?
What should I do?
Why am I here?
Where should I go?
Did the people around me are comfortable with me?
Who is with me now? I mean in person.
Do I have a friend?
If yes, where did they go?
If no, is it my faith that I’m always alone?
Why I have to be like this?
Why?

I feel like they don’t even want me around.
They didn’t need me anymore.
I’m troublesome people around me.
I didn’t want to.
I don’t mean it.
I’m sorry.

I make mistakes.
A huge mistakes
I hurt people.
With my own tongue.
With my own words.
I’m sorry.
I don’t mean it.

Why am I alive?
I bother people just by being alive.
Just realize that I’m so stupid.
I’m sorry for being alive.
I’m sorry I didn’t realize that earlier.
I should have.
I’m so sorry.

I’m going to avoid myself with people as possible as I can.
I will.

-Nectar-